Five-Year-Old declares Chocolate Bar to be "Most Favourite Ever," then Changes Mind 20 times in the next 5 minutes.

Five-year-old Christopher Brown declared the chocolate bar he was eating to be his favourite ever, claiming he would never change his mind about it as long as he lived.

When pressed by his mother that he had said yesterday that a different kind of candy bar was his absolute favourite, he responded by saying, "Oh yeah, I forgot about that one. That one is definitely my favourite, i just don't like as much as this one," he said from his booster seat in the backseat of the family's minivan. 

As the conversation continued, Christopher's mother said he changed his mind at least 20 times in the next five minutes as she mentioned the different brands that he usually enjoyed. "He said they were all his favourite," she confided to a friend later, "Honestly, I'm not even convinced he even knows what the word means anymore. How will he ever get into college with that kind of a lackluster grasp of the English language?"

Comments as to the veracity of Christopher's mothers' views on his ability to enter college based on this event have gone unanswered by Harvard University's admission department. We will update the story if they ever stop laughing at the question long enough to talk.

Small Town to overhaul new traffic laws out of "Sheer boredom."

"We really need to liven things up around here," said Mayor Twiddlethumbs to the ahem "press conference" at the town's only coffee shop, where three people had gathered to chitchat. "After this year's graduating class of three young people left to go to college, the population is now under 1,000 and I and the rest of the staff are bored out of our minds. Something drastic needs to be done."

Citing failed events meant to get the town actually excited about something as last year's best dressed cow competition, as well as the cleverly disguised "Treasure hunt" to clean up the undersides of the town's benches on Main Street. Twiddlethumbs also mentioned the sparsely attended "Let's sweep the sidewalks!" party and explained that if he doesn't come up with something new to do soon, the staff will start wasting their time at work selling those natural washcloths and nail-sticker-thingys. "I have a duty to keep them busy, or it all gets out of hand quickly."

Waytoosmall's bylaw officer said that he's happy for the news, as there's really only so many times he can fine Old Man Gunther for letting his cow poop on the Mayor's car every week before it stops being funny.

A Town Hall meeting is scheduled for next week, and a source close to the Mayor said he is considering bringing in professional protesters to make for a more lively meeting. "The last time only 5 people showed up and we ended up playing poker instead. That's the tenth time that's happened. Another time the whole council got bored discussing the same thing for the twelve hundreth time, started daydreaming and before you knew it an MLM meeting had broken out. This NEEDS to stop happening." He said (the Mayor) is also pleased at the potential popcorn sales a good argument at the meeting could bring in.

For more information on the meeting, please contact the town gossips, who will simply make up what they do not know.